I have read a lot about choosing mattress type and firmness based on a person's weight and sleep position.
The information is all based on individual sleepers and never addresses any special considerations for couples.
My wife and I are both 63 years old, physically fit and active.
We are currently sleeping on a 12 year old Westin Heavenly Bed Mattress.
I am 5'11", 162lbs and a side and back sleeper who has begun suffering pressure point problems in both shoulders. My wife is 5'9", 107lb and a strict side sleeper with no current pressure point problems.
We sleep on a queen bed and spend a lot of time spooned tightly together front to back.
But we also spend time apart particularly when shoulder pain drives me onto my back or it is too warm to be cuddled together.
So, while my wife is in the <130lbs petite category and I am in the 130lb - 230lb average category, when we are spooned together, we fall in the >230lb large category.
What does this mean for choosing a firmness and support level?
Everything I read would suggest a soft (4 - 5) firmness for my wife, a medium (5 - 6) for me and more like a medium firm/firm (6.5 - 7.5) to gain the support required for our combined weight to maintain spinal alignment when spooned together.
Any insight you can provide on how to think this through and select the best firmness level would be appreciated.
I would also be interested in any specific bed recommendations you might put forward.
Thank you in advance, Geoff
Frankly, you’re over thinking this.
A good strong individually pocketed coil unit will provide the contouring support any body needs for proper spinal alignment.
A soft latex mattress topper will provide the surface comfort you need to sleep deeply.
Rotating your new mattress on a regular basis will cause the mattress to wear evenly, providing long lasting support and comfort for both of you.
The mattress I’m recommending is the Wolf Jessica.
Click on this link to view specifications and prices.
Like many of your blog posts indicate, there are lots of people with my same problem.
I have a mattress that is, simply, too firm.
Your advice points to adding a Suite Sleep Soft Organic Latex Mattress Topper.
I've done some sopping online and can find latex toppers for a lot lower price.
What's up with that?
Why the Suite Sleep over the others?
There's a very old saying, "You get what you pay for".
Suite Sleep offers the highest quality latex toppers on the planet.
The result is "Value", due to the many years you will enjoy their product.
Latex starts as the sap from the rubber tree and the process it takes to turn it into a foam is quite expensive.
Cheap latex is cheap for a reason. Cheap latex comes from Chine, where they use fillers, like clay, to reduce the cost of making it. The result is a product that needs replacing within months, not years.
And because clay is a natural product, it's touted as all natural latex...never mentioning the clay filler.
As a small child, I learned from my grandfather that there is no substitute for quality.
High quality products last so much longer than poor quality products, which end up being far less expensive in the long run. So, the choice is yours...Buy the best, or cheap out.
Here's a link to the Suite Sleep Pure, Organic Latex Mattress Toppers
The Suite Sleep Organic Latex Topper is what you’ll add to that.
The question then becomes, “which one?”.
If by heavy, you mean a couple of hundred pounds, then she can get the Soft version. If she more like 300 lbs. or more, then the Medium Soft is better for wear.
However, Lupus can be quite painful. She may want to trade some durability for more comfort.
Normally for a large person, I recommend the 2”. But, the 3” is more comfortable.
And trading the Medium Soft for Soft will also add more surface comfort.
A 300 lb. person on a 3” soft, may only get a few years from that topper.
All in all, it’s better to be more comfortable for a shorter length of time than less comfortable for a longer period of time. But that’s a personal call, usually based on finances more than any other reason.
The Natura of Canada Greenspring mattresses use an individually pocketed coil unit and is upholstered with latex. My wife and I sleep on the Ultra Plush model, which is nowhere near as soft as it sounds.
There are 4 models in the line and the other 3 are noticeably firmer.
The “Firm” model is quite hard.
Click on this link to view that line of mattresses.
Click on each model to view specifications and prices.
Geoff writes: Hi Pete, I have read a lot about choosing mattress type and firmness based on a person's weight and sleep position. The information is all based on individual sleepers and never addresses any special considerations for couples. My...
Gary writes: Hi Pete, Like many of your blog posts indicate, there are lots of people with my same problem. I have a mattress that is, simply, too firm. Your advice points to adding a Suite Sleep Soft Organic Latex...
Betsy writes: Hi Pete, After reading some of your blog posts, I see you often recommend a latex mattress topper. Your website offers Pure Bliss and Suite Sleep. What's the difference? Why one over the other? And, what about the...