I have read a lot about choosing mattress type and firmness based on a person's weight and sleep position.
The information is all based on individual sleepers and never addresses any special considerations for couples.
My wife and I are both 63 years old, physically fit and active.
We are currently sleeping on a 12 year old Westin Heavenly Bed Mattress.
I am 5'11", 162lbs and a side and back sleeper who has begun suffering pressure point problems in both shoulders. My wife is 5'9", 107lb and a strict side sleeper with no current pressure point problems.
We sleep on a queen bed and spend a lot of time spooned tightly together front to back.
But we also spend time apart particularly when shoulder pain drives me onto my back or it is too warm to be cuddled together.
So, while my wife is in the <130lbs petite category and I am in the 130lb - 230lb average category, when we are spooned together, we fall in the >230lb large category.
What does this mean for choosing a firmness and support level?
Everything I read would suggest a soft (4 - 5) firmness for my wife, a medium (5 - 6) for me and more like a medium firm/firm (6.5 - 7.5) to gain the support required for our combined weight to maintain spinal alignment when spooned together.
Any insight you can provide on how to think this through and select the best firmness level would be appreciated.
I would also be interested in any specific bed recommendations you might put forward.
Thank you in advance, Geoff
Frankly, you’re over thinking this.
A good strong individually pocketed coil unit will provide the contouring support any body needs for proper spinal alignment.
A soft latex mattress topper will provide the surface comfort you need to sleep deeply.
Rotating your new mattress on a regular basis will cause the mattress to wear evenly, providing long lasting support and comfort for both of you.
The mattress I’m recommending is the Wolf Jessica.
Click on this link to view specifications and prices.
Many years ago, I bought a Sealy SpringFree Beachside Latex Mattress from you that we have loved.
It’s lived quite a life span but needs to be replaced now. Can you recommend one just like it?
Just a bit about me. I’m 73 now, so pressure points need to be comfortable.
I’m 5’6”, have a bad back that’s killing me lately, weigh 180, most of which are in my stomach, hips and butt. Side sleeper 90%/back sleeper/10%.
I need a full-size mattress (sleep with 3 furbabies) with good edge support.
I sleep only on one side of it, and spend 4 or more hours with my elbow digging into the bed while on my side watching tv. Like the Sealy was, I need a bed that’s easy to turn or move around on – NO sinking or sagging.
I’m like the old Princess who could feel a pea if it were under her mattress.
This is my last hurrah for buying a mattress. For health and financial reasons, I can’t ‘afford’ to make a mistake (not that anyone can, I know..) So, I’m turning to you… What do you think I should do?
Any advice would be sooo appreciated.
You may or may not need a new mattress.
It’s the soft poly foam on top of that Beachside which has worn.
I recommend getting someone to flip the mattress over for you.
The flip side exposes the firm latex core.
Add to that, a Suite Sleep 3” Soft Vita Talalay Latex Topper for the surface comfort you want….shown here:
100% All-Natural Vytex Dunlop Latex Mattress Toppers. Ever-Eden’s Vytex Dunlop is, virtually, Allergen Free. And while the Vytex Dunlop comes in the same 2 choices of comfort levels, Dunlop is a more dense material and does not have as supple a feel as the Talalay Latex Toppers.
Shipping is free and there’s no sales tax.
There’s no point in discussing a mattress at this time.
Things change regularly in this industry.
The topper should be all you need for, maybe, years.
You might try the topper on both sides of your mattress and use it on whichever side produces the better result.
You’ll, likely, to be able to use that same topper on whatever mattress comes next.
We recommend using a waterproof mattress protector with every mattress.
Keeping the upholstery materials clean and dry will extend the life of the mattress.
My husband and I are looking to replace a (just) 4-year-old queen Serta Perfect Sleeper mattress.
We're VERY disappointed in it's fast depressions and sagging, and we both suffer misery nightly.
It gives me pressure point, hips and shoulder pain and numbness in my arm.
My husband is suffering with general, overall soreness.
We've always had Cushion Firm mattresses. But, the last two we've had, have failed very quickly.
What you say, about the decline of quality in these mattresses, is very true.
We're now better educated, thanks to you, and are so nonplussed about the idea of buying another typical innerspring mattress, and setting ourselves up for more early planned obsolescence.
I'm 55 years, 5'4" and about 140 pounds, and have had severe scoliosis since my teenage years.
I need the fusion surgery but have no plans to get it, ever. I'm a side and stomach sleeper.
My husband is 53 years, 5'9" and about 170 pounds. Side and back sleeper. No health problems. Snores! :)
I don't know that we can afford an all-latex mattress...or if that would be the best thing for my scoliosis.
After reading your site and blog, I'm wondering if the Simmons Beautyrest Platinum Gibson Grove Luxury Firm with a Pure Bliss Plush latex topper would be ideal...or if the Extra Firm would be better...or what?
I just keep thinking about my pressure points, which make my legs ache for hours after I get up.
And for the topper, would 2" or 3" inches be better?
Oh the choices. My head spins. I'd be so grateful for your help!
Many thanks, Lisa
That you've been reading is extremely helpful to both of us.
In doing so, you now have a handle on what it is you should have and why.
The Simmons Beautyrest Platinum Gibson Grove is an ideal choice.
The individually pocketed coils provide firm support that maintains the natural alignment of your spine.
The extra firm model, for a side sleeping female, will apply too much pressure on your hip.
However, the extra firm will be better for your severe scoliosis.
Using a Pure Bliss 3" Plush Natural Talalay Latex Topper will offset the pressure at the hip.
Hi Pete, I bought a Saatva luxury firm mattress and it is way too firm. I have arthritis in my hip and need support and am a side sleeper. Which mattress topper should I use to soften it?? Thanks, Cynthia...
Nancy writes: Hi Pete, I'm interested in finding a good wool mattress topper. Do you carry anything like that? Thanks, Nancy Hi Nancy, We carry 2 wool mattress toppers. This one from Suite Sleep. https://themattressexpert.com/xcart5/suite-comfort-wool-toppers.html And this one from Sleep...
Cathy writes: Hi, Pete, We purchased the Talalay medium soft latex topper, just over a year ago. I am a long time customer from when we lived in Delaware and you were in NJ. We now live in Lancaster, PA...